When We Are Lost
by Kendra 'Kai' Barton
Summary: When Severus goes to pick up Harry for his last year of Hogwarts, he finds Harry in a surprisingly bad state. Taking care of the boy and giving up his position as a Spy on Dumbledore's insistence, the two of them listen to how Dumbledore intends to keep the both of them safe from the Dark Lord, though said protection could be more dangerous than any dark magic. Harry/Severus, M/M
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note; This is a Reboot of my most popular story, When we are lost. This is a Snarry Fanfic, so if you do not like, do not read. This story is in an AU were Serious did not die, Snape was never forced to Kill Dumbledore, and Harry still, technically, gets to finish his last school year. I admit there is likely to be some OOCness here, but that's okay, it's just a story for fun**_

 _ **WARNING; This story contains the following; Reference to Rape, Reference to Abuse, Male/Male Romance, Violence, Sexual Content, ETC. If these are things that you cannot read, please, make a pass on this story.**_

 _ **I would like to offer a huge thanks to CupcakeSev23, who assisted me with being able to start up this story again. Thank you so much, and I hope you enjoy this reboot.**_

 _ **Chapter 1; Blood in the cupboard**_

It was a warm and windy night, a few leaves blew across the dark pavement, trees rustling in an eerie symphony along with deep howls of the wind. The street was darker than usual, the thick storm clouds that had been gathering blocked out any of the light the moon may have granted Privet Drive. All of the houses had lights on inside of them, but it did little to light the dark streets, or to illuminate the solitary figure which currently walked down the middle of the pavement, a dark shadow skulking through seemingly unnoticed.

July rainstorms had left the street seeming damp, the pavement glistened underneath black shoes as black eyes scanned the numbers on building searching for the correct house in which his charge was currently staying. Severus Snape walked slowly, silently cursing the boy who he was here to pick up.

 _Why couldn't the Weasleys come and pick up the brat?_ Severus thought bitterly as he counted down the even numbers on one side of the road. _If Potter is being forced to stay with me for the rest of summer, we will murder each other._

A heavy sigh escaped Severus' throat as he saw number four approaching slowly. It was Potters seventeenth birthday, making him an adult, and Lily's protection would no longer be there to keep him safe, and so he had to be put in the care of the one wizard Dumbledore trusted enough to protect "The Chosen One". None other than the triple agent, Severus Snape.

When Albus had made the suggestion to the order, many of them had firmly objected, Black especially, the old geezer had, unfortunately, insisted that even Grimmauld Place would not be anywhere near safe enough. So, it was a sacrifice, and an extremely dangerous one at that, giving up a spy, for the protection of Potter.

Severus couldn't help but feel bitter about the situation. He had been putting himself in such great danger, going back and forth, enduring harsh punishments and torment, to gather crucial information, all to give it up to PROTECT the brat who didn't even care. He felt almost hurt. Yes this was a sign of just how much Albus trusted Severus, but it felt as if all he had endured up until now had been pointless.

Sadly, this was the reality, and Severus could no longer put off picking up the boy. He pulled the pocket-watch out of his robes and looked at it, nearly nine, he had sent a letter ahead, so if the boy was not ready to go, they would leave his stuff behind. He put the watch away and briskly walked up the front step and rapped on the door with his knuckles, waiting as he saw a shadow move quickly pass the window.

It was only a moment later when the door opened, a short round man standing in the doorway, his wiry mustache speckled with food, piggy little eyes staring up at Severus, clearly angry. Severus watched with a raised eyebrow as the man examined him in his robes, clearly taking in who he was.

"What do you want?" Vernon, Severus suspected, asked with a deep growling tone. Severus sneered at him and folded his arms impatiently.

"I am here to pick up Potter." He said coldly, smirking slightly as he saw the fat man shiver. "If he did not inform you that I was picking him up, reprimand him. Other than that fetch the boy so we may be off."

The man shuffled slightly, looking away from Snape for a moment before speaking again, his voice much less confident now that the potions master was bearing down on him with cold eyes.

"The F-boy is already gone…" Severus frowned, looking at the man refusing to meet his eyes. He was lying, but why…

"Mind if I double check that?" Severus said coldly as he began to step forward. Vernon fixed his hand on the doorframe, blocking the entrance.

"You have no right to enter my house!" Vernon said, quite loudly. Severus raised an eyebrow again, feeling ever so slightly more suspicious and...concerned. He silently looked at the man and pressed his mind forward, picking up on the thoughts running across the surface of his mind.

 _If the freak sees he'll kill me. Have to keep him out, can't let them see Potter…._

Severus snarled and pulled out his wand, putting it right up to the man's face. Vernon yelped and instantly stepped away, allowing Severus to step in and silently close the door behind him.

"Where is Potter!?" Severus growled, his voice projected, though not yelling. It was only a moment later that another figure entered into Severus' view, a tall, thin woman with a long face, a familiar face, entered into the hallway and gasped as she saw Snape with his wand on her husband.

"You…" She gasped at him, one bony hand covering her mouth, the other grasping at her heart, as if she was about to keel over. Severus sneered at Lilly's sister, the old loathing he had felt for her boiling up again.

"Petunia. It's been some time." He hissed slightly. "No time for pleasantries however. Tell me where is Potter?"

She stared at Snape, then to her husband, who was sweating and turning bright red. She seemed to be at a loss of words, shocked by the entire situation. Severus was about to ask again when a voice he had not expected spoke from above him, drawing his attention to a large boy, around the same age as Potter, in sleep clothes.

"Harry's in the cupboard!" The boy said, looking rather scared. Severus frowned and looked at Vernon, who had a look of defeat and fear in his eyes. Severus looked over at the stairs, were there was a cupboard with several locks on it, all latched. He shoved past the large Dursley and unlocked the latches without a word before swinging the door open.

The sight shook Severus to the very core. Pale and ungodly thin, Harry Potter; The-Boy-Who-Lived, The Chosen One, was hanging from a bar suspended above what looked like had once been a bed. His arms were twisted so unnaturally, holding him up above the ground as a small pool of blood was starting to congeal underneath his feet, dripping from somewhere between his legs.

Severus managed to shake off the shock and quickly snapped the rope with but a quick swish of his wand, catching the young man as he fell, his unconscious body limp and cold. Severus checked the boys pulse, he was still alive, before quickly unbinding his hands and wrapping him in a blanket that was draped over the old bed. He picked Potter up bridal style and stepped out of the room, his eyes angry daggers at the Dursleys, who had began to cower in a corner the moment Snape opened that door.

"I suspect you will hear from Dumbledore very shortly." He hissed at them. "Someone else will be here to take his things, if I hear that you sabotage any of them, you will answer to ME."

And without a glance back he was out the door, a dark shadow moving down the street once again, a dark specter in the drizzle of rain that had begun to fall. He moved much faster than he had while arriving, causing his cloak to billow out behind him just slightly more, creating the appearance of a bat like shadow.

Severus arrived at the portkey within only a couple of moments, shifting the all too thin body in his arms just enough to take ahold of the rusty can, before the two of them were whisked away into the night.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2; Prince Manor**_

Severus nearly lost his footing as the Portkey dropped the two of them off in the dark gardens of his new home. He shook the disorientation out of his mind and tossed the can that had been their mode of transport away, moving briskly to the door.

Severus had never been so happy for magic as he was then, the lights instantly turning on as he entered a room, allowing him to quickly, and safely, make his way up the stairs and into the nearest bedroom. The room was warm, the fireplace in the far corner instantly coming to life as he moved to set Potter on the bed.

Moving quickly, with the efficiency he had gained over the years, Severus pulled the blanket away from Potter and started to look over the boy for injuries. Most of what he had suffered were bruises, though his arm was assuredly broken. The worst of it, however, was at Harry's backside, as horrible, deep tears showed the evidence of the molestation that he had endured.

Severus cursed under his breath and pulled a potion out of a pocket and gently, carefully, applied it to the bleeding wounds. He watched as the bleeding stopped and only light scaring remained. He sighed and made his way to the wardrobe, pulling out a simple pull on shirt and some sweatpants, carefully laying them across the trunk at the foot of the bed and pulling the covers up to cover Potter's body.

 _I can't dress him with his arm like that..._ Severus thought silently as he made his way to the fireplace and opened the lid on a container filled with a sparkling green powder. _I need a much more skilled healer, now._

Severus took a handful of the powder and threw it into the herth, causing the flames to kick up green and bright.

"Albus Dumbledore's Office." He called into the flames before sticking his head through. The spinning was very disorientating, but once he saw the large office with all of it's whirling gizmos and the bright red Phoenix on it's perch, Severus called out into the room.

"Albus!" His voice had a strange echo in his ears, as his voice drew the attention of the bird, golden eyes turning to look at him tiredly. It was only a moment later that the old wizard in his silver robes came into the room, a cup of tea in one hand.

"Now Severus, what is with that yelling? It is quite late you kn-" The headmaster began to chastise, but Severus cut him off with cold, clear words.

"Potter is injured."

THAT snapped the old man into a much more serious look, setting his cup down and pulling out his wand. Severus pulled his head out of the floo just in time for Dumbledore to step through, appearing in the room and making his way over to the bed the boy now lay in.

"What happened?" Albus asked, pulling the sheets back to observe the boy's injuries himself. "Was it…"

"Not Death Eaters." Severus said, crossing his arms and leaning against the far wall. "His Uncle."

"His...I see…" Albus went quite as he saw the drying blood on the boy's legs. He sighed and started to pass his wand over the boy's arm, muttering soft incantations causing the bones to snap back into place. It was quick, and before long Harry Potter was tucked into the bed, sleeping peacefully as Dumbledore made his way over to Severus with a sad look in his blue eyes.

"Where are his things?" The old man asked and Severus sighed again.

"I had no time to collect them, as I figured getting Potter medical attention was much more important. Knowing that the boy is alright now, however, I will go and collect them."

"No no no, Severus. I will inform Molly and the others, some of them may go and collect his things, I need to speak to the Minister. I need you to stay and tend to the boy, he is likely to be very scared and confused when he wakes."

Severus bowed his head on acknowledgment as Albus made his way out of the room and closed the door behind him. Only a few moments later, there was a whooshing sound from downstairs as the old man no doubt flooed either back to his own office or to Grimmauld Place.

The room was quiet now, save for the rain pelting the window, dark all save for the fireplace. Severus Snape waited just a little longer before moving toward the bed again, picking up the clothes he had set aside, and started to dress the boy. The clothes were massively too large for the emaciated teen, the shirt hanging off of him like a tent, but it was all they had for the moment.

Once the boy was fully clothed he lay him back down and pulled the covers up to his chin, brushing thin fingers through the mop of black hair, seeing the lightning scar on his forehead. He removed the boy's glasses and set them on the bedside table before taking a seat on the edge of the bed, looking at the boy more closely.

He did look eerily like James Potter, sending a cold, hateful feeling down his spine despite his best efforts. He was all too aware that the boy was not at fault for his father's behavior, but the resemblances have been piling up. Up until that point, Severus had felt very justified in his claims that Harry had been JUST like James, but now...all he could see was a thin, hurt boy who took solace wherever he could find it. Far too much like himself than he truly wanted to admit.

" _He has her eyes, Severus."_ Those were the words Dumbledore had used to convince Severus to remain his protector after the death of Lily, and Severus felt ashamed for never having looked. Now, with his eyes closed and sunken into his gaunt face, Severus was unable to see if that was really true. If so...perhaps he could, SHOULD, focus on that far more than the rest of him.

Shaking his head, Snape stood again and made his way out of the room and down the stairs, his feet sounding loud as they hit each, hardwood step. The house was far too large for just him, thus why he tended to stay in the tiny house his dreaded father used to own. When he had learned of the inheritance from his mother's side of the family, he had been mildly overjoyed at the fact that he could leave the "Snape" side behind, at least in that one sense. However the house was cold and far too quiet, the open space actually made Severus feel afraid, exposed. However it was heavily warded, wards what had recently been reinforced by all members of the Order and even the ministry, probably making this one mansion out in the middle of nowhere even more safe than Hogwarts school itself.

The state of the place left much to be desired, however. While Severus had made a point to clean and restock his new property, especially once he learned that he would be sharing it with the "Savior of the whole Wizarding World!" the place was still a right mess. Even with magic, it was impossible to keep it clean all by himself, it was simply too large. Albus had offered to lend him some of the Hogwarts House Elves, but Severus had refused. He had no interest in silently supporting slavery, even if the Elves themselves had been bread to enjoy servitude. He simply did his best to maintain it himself.

The kitchen was, undoubtedly, the cleanest place in the house, other than his potions lab in the basement. The fridge was fully stocked and he had enough cooking supplies to feed the entire Weasley family, extended relatives included. So he pulled out a large pot and started to slice up the vegetables for a simple stew. If he was going to be put in charge of caring for the boy, be would be damned if he didn't give him a proper meal when waking up, laced with some calming drought no question. The boy would probably be a nervous wreck, having gone through what he did, just to wake up in the presence of his most hated teacher. It was best to ensure he stayed calm and did not stress himself too much.

It was about twenty or so minutes after he started cooking that the fireplace started to flare up with green flames, and several people, one after the other, started to pop out into the sitting room, getting soot and ash all over the floores. Severus glared slightly as the Seven Weasleys, followed by Lupin, Tonks, Mad-Eye, Shacklebolt, and finally Black all filled his house.

 _Well it's not empty anymore._ He thought to himself as he stirred the broth in front of him, his dark eyes staying on the Order as Sirius Black quickly made his way over to the Kitchen Island and slammed his hands on the counter.

"Where is Harry!?" Black asked, his eyes cold and accusing. Severus gave him a dry look and put the lid on the pot before stepping out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel. He observed the group, most of them were holding bags and suitcases, though Ronald Weasley was holding the cage containing Harry's Owl.

"Thank you for getting his things." Severus said quietly, causing the youngest four Weasley to look quite shocked. Severus sneered slightly. _Brats._ "Mr. Potter is upstairs in the first room to the left. He is currently sleeping, so I ask that you remain quiet, he need his rest."

"Thank you, Severus." Arthur Weasley said with a kind smile, placing one hand on Snape's arm before motioning the others to follow him up. Molly gave him a similar gesture and a smile as they all went up, save for Black, who remained in the room with Snape, glaring daggers at him. Severus turned to the man, his face voice of emotion.

"Is there something you needed, Black?" He said coldly. "I'm afraid I have no bones for you to gnaw on, they all went into the stock."

Black gritted his teeth at Snape, who half expected him to growl. Black moved forward, getting up into Severus' face with cold, judging eyes.

"What are you playing at, Snivellus?" Black asked in a hissing tone. Severus raised an eyebrow and pushed past Black, returning to the kitchen and his cooking.

"I am simply doing as Dumbledore instructed. If you have a problem with it, take it up with him." He said coldly as he moved to take the lid off the pot. A firm hand stopped him, pressing his hand down onto the hot metal. He winced in pain as he turned to look at Black, who was looming over him, despite being significantly shorter than himself.

"I'm taking it up with **You**." Black actually snarled at him. Severus maintained a calm visage, despite the feeling of skin blistering on his hand. "Cooking a meal, telling everyone to be quiet so Harry can rest? Since when did you care about whether or not he got proper rest or not?"

"Since I saw, first hand, what he was forced to endure under the watch of his, supposed, family." Severus said coldly. "Let's just say I felt the slightest twinge of sympathy for the child. I understand what it is like, if you recall."

Sirius visibly flinched away as Severus said those words, giving him enough leverage to wretch his hand away from the scolding metal, leaving a rather bloody handprint on the lid. Severus glared at Black before taking the lid off of the pot and tossing it into the sink for a brush to start washing, while he wrapped his hand in a towel to stop the bleeding.

"Now if you are going to visit the boy, do so, otherwise get out of my house." Severus' tone was cold and harsh, a tone he had used many times in the past to intimidate the enemies of the Dark Lord. Sirius took a step away, glaring at Snape with a mixture of loathing and...guilt? It was hard to tell. But eventually Sirius did leave Snape alone to finish his cooking, and left to visit Harry in his room.

Severus watched at Black left, carefully unwrapping his hand to look at the damage. He had certainly had worse, what with The Dark Lord's temper, but having a bloody hand would likely cause some problems with his job. So he carefully slathered his hand with the same healing salve he had used on Harry earlier, closing the wounds and easing the pain. He was able to return to his cooking just as the fireplace lit up again, Dumbledore returning through it with an exasperated look. Snape raised an eyebrow at him and shook his head, pulling the finished soup, not really a stew, off of the burner and started to plate it up and lace it with the calming draught. Albus walked over to him and leaned on the counter, his blue eyes looking all to serious.

"What is it?" Snape asked, not meeting those eyes. He had a bad feeling.

"Well...It's about the protection." Severus looked up at him and he continued. "I need to speak with both you and Harry, once he wakes. Have the others come by with his luggage?"

"They are all upstairs with him now." He said as he put a glass of water on the tray as well before wiping his hands off and looking at Albus. The Hogwarts Headmaster smiled slightly and picked up the tray to Severus, understanding that he had already 'Shamed' himself enough by even cooking such a nice meal for the boy. The two of them made their way upstairs and Severus opened the door for Albus as they entered into the all too crowded room. Severus was quite shocked to see Potter sitting up in bed, staring at the two of them with his large eyes in shock.

 _God, they are like hers…._ He thought as he met them. Albus gave a kind smile as he walked in and placed the tray on Harry's lap.

"Hello, Harry, I am glad to see you awake. Severus did a very good job at treating your injuries." Albus said, causing Snape to scoff. _Old man just had to tell him, didn't he?_

"Snape did…?" Harry asked, his voice soft and hoarse, seeming mildly dazed, not that Snape blamed him.

"Professor Snape, Harry, and yes. He took you away from your Aunt and Uncle and brought you here. He has been taking care of you for a while now." Dumbledore said with a soft smile. Though the look on Harry's face turned from one of confusion to one of terror.

 _ **He**_ _saw? Oh god…_

The boy's thoughts were so loud Severus did not even need to actively cast Legilimens. He looked away from the boy, understanding the shame he must be feeling. He couldn't help but hurt for the boy. No one, not even The Dark Lord himself deserved to go through what this boy had gone through. Albus placed a gentle hand on Harry's shoulder, trying to comfort him, but it clearly did not work. There was silence in the room as the members of the Order all looked around at the three of them, clearly not sure as to what to do or say. Albus turned to them and gave an apologetic smile.

"I am sorry, but I need to speak with Harry and Severus, alone." He said softly. "Thank you all for gathering his things, but I think right now the less people crowding him the better. Besides, it is too dangerous to gather like this."

While Ron and Ginny Weasley did protest, they were all ushered out by the older members of the Order, Black giving Harry a hug and Snape a glare before exiting the room. There was silence until they heard the large group leave through the Floo again. Severus pulled up two chairs, lending one to Albus and he himself sitting in the other. Harry was looking between them nervously, clearly wandering what was going on.

"First of all Harry, I need to make sure you received the letter we sent ahead, telling you that Professor Snape would be picking you up?" Albus asked, and Potter nodded. "Good, that will make this easier to explain. The reason why you need to stay with Severus for the remainder of the summer is because your Mother's protection is no longer active, now that you are seventeen. As Severus is hightly skilled in wards, dueling, and know Tom better than anyone else, I decided it would be safest to put you in his care. And so far, I can see that it was a wise choice, if I do say so myself."

"You looked awfully serous when you returned Albus." Snape said, wanting to stop the old man's ramblings. "What happened? Is there an issue with the wards?"

"Not necessarily…." Albus said, scratching the bridge of his long nose. "It is a point the Minister brought up to me, in reguards to a form of protection, similar to what Lily had placed on Harry when he was a baby…"

Severus and Harry both frowned slightly, clearly wandering what he was talkng about.

"You mean...like an extra layer of protection?" Harry asked, and Dumbledore nodded, looking worriedly at Severus. _What are you doing old man…_

"Yes Harry. For both you and Severus, as it will not take long for Tom to realise that he has changed sides for good." Albus said slowly. "I beleive it is the only course of action to take, for both of your sakes."

"Albus...what are you saying?" Severus asked, a cold chill running up his spine. Albus took a breath and sat up straight, looking at both Severus and Harry with determined eyes.

"I am saying that you two shall be bonded, emediately."

Severus's mouth dropped open in utter shock, the force of whick causing him to drop his own mental blocks.

"Albus you can't be serious!" He said, standing up in utter shock and horror. Albus looked up at him, blue eyes sympathetic but unwavering.

"Ah, but I am all too serious, Severus. It really is the best way. I recomend you calm down, and accept it." Snape bit his lip and clenched his fists at his side. Once the old man made up his mind, that was it. He couldn't go against his oders.

"I don't get it…" Harry asked, clearly confused. "What does it mean to be bonded?" Snape looked at Harry, a scowel on his face despite not actually being angry at the boy. He suppose he had to tell him in blantant muggle terms.

"It means we are getting Married. Tonight."


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's note; I would like to thank all of you for reading and sending me such enthusiastic PMs about the return of the story, I admit I am shocked about how many people have been waiting for it to return. Starting in this chapter I would really like to thank CupcakeSev23 once again, who has officially become my editor for this story. Thank you all, once again, for your support.**_

 _ **I hope to see more lovley reviews and messages from you all and I hope you continue to enjoy the story.**_

 _ **Chapter 3; What's in a Wedding?**_

"W...what?" Harry's voice was thin in his own ears, his mind going mildly hazy at the words Snape, of all people, had just said to him. He stared at the two older gentlemen, Dumbledore looking sad and Snape looking furious. Harry couldn't help but shiver, remembering the reaction Snape had in his fifth year, after having looked into the Pensive and saw those horrible memories. He couldn't fathom how being MARRIED to a man who loathed him so much could be anything but dangerous…

"A bonding, Harry, is the Wizarding World's version of a wedding. It is a binding magical contract, and acts in many ways like the unbreakable vow does. Only rather than killing one who makes the oath, so long as both participants remain loyal and true to their vows, the magic creates a form of protection over them." Dumbledore explained. "How such a binding magic was created was lost long ago, but many scholars, including myself believe that it was created as a form of protection, not for the binding couple themselves, but for their offspring, so that they are not left without a parent."

Harry frowned slightly and looked at his hands, thinking on those words.

"But...it didn't work on Mum and Dad…" He said softly. "Not against HIM. How would it work on us?"

"Bare in mind, Harry, James and Lily had been married, bonded, for a handful of years before you were born." Albus continued to explain. A dark movement caught Harry's eye and he looked up to see Snape starting to pace the room, clearly uncomfortable. "The magic is strongest when it is still new, within the first year."

"So…" Harry thought for a moment, his mind slowly catching up to what his ears were hearing. "You want me to marry Snape, just so I can have some super strong protection for...a year?" He stopped and shook his head, a hand running through his messy black hair. "I mean, I'm gonna be back at Hogwarts in a month anyway, why on earth would I do that!? Besides, he's my teacher! Aren't there rules about students and teachers?!"

"Yes there are rules." Dumbledore explained, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees his long bony fingers entwining under his long silver beard. "However, there have been exceptions in the past, so it would not be unheard of, though precautions would have to be taken not to risk favoritism in terms of grades…" A scoff drew Dumbledore's attention to Snape, who seemed utterly disgusted at the thought of showing HIM favoritism. Albus shook his head at the man before focusing back on Harry.

"So long as you of legal age, which I shall remind you Harry, you are, and the precautions are taken into place, there is no legal ramification for marrying one's teacher." Dumbledore said with a smile, as if hoping that would make Harry feel better. It didn't.

"Maybe not legal…" Harry muttered. "But socially I'll be ruined for life. Gods, poor Neville would think I betrayed him or something."

"You could just tell Longbottom the truth about protection." Snape said cooly, leaning against a wall. "He is a part of 'Dumbledore's Army' is he not?"

"I'm afraid that is not possible, Severus." Albus said rubbing the bridge of his nose. "As Bondings are a magical contact they a near impossible to get on a whim, and the usual process for being approved of one is long and strenuous, often taking months if not years to go through. The ministry does not bind people for the sake of their protection, but for the fact that they truly wish to spend their lives together. If word gets around that Harry was bound to you for protections sake rather than love, well lets just say many people will be very angry at the Ministry's favoritism towards Harry. Not to mention 'Tainting the sanctity of Bondings.' No...it is far better, overall, if we simply act as if this was the plan all along…"

"Albus…" Snape pinched the bridge of his nose, looking like he had a headache. "I could probably handle living with Po-Harry, hell even pretending to enjoy his company." Snape looked at Harry, letting a small flicker in his eye tell that he had picked up on Harry's surprise at his words. "But aren't you forgetting what MAKES a Bonding a Bonding? You cannot seriously ask the boy to do such a thing, not with what he has been through."

Dumbledore smiled softly at Snape, where as Harry only looked confused. Harry knew what he was talking about, if Snape had really been the one to find him in the cupboard and treated his wounds, but what did that have to do with the bonding? Unless…

"Oh, Merlin, no…" Harry felt the blood rush from his face, and for a moment he felt as if he was going to vomit. He pressed his hands against his mouth, unable to control it as his body started to shake, causing the tray with soup to shake as well. Dumbledore quickly grabbed the tray, probably to prevent the soup from spilling and burning Harry.

"Harry, calm down." Dumbledore's voice was gentle, as was the hand on Harry's back, but still the boy pulled away, quick and panicked, causing him to fall out of the bed and onto the hardwood floor. Harry didn't care about the new bruise he got on his hip, he simply scuttled away from the two men who were talking about..

"No, please no." Harry muttered, pressing against the corner of the room and pulling his knees up to his his chest, hugging them tightly. "Please don't make me do that! Please don't hurt me please!"

Harry couldn't stop the tears from streaming down his face at the mere thought of being touched right then. He clenched his eyes shut and buried his face in his arms, trying to curl up as small as possible, like he did when trying to avoid Uncle Vernon's fists. He heard Snape mutter something before the door closed. Harry wondered for a second if they had left before foot falls approached him. He curled up tighter, not wanting them to touch him. ' _Please don't. Please don't…'_ The foot falls ended a ways away from him, and then there was a soft rustle of cloth.

"Po-Harry." The familiar voice. One that had always been so cold and hard, it was strange so hear it sound so soft and gentle. So strange that it forced Harry to look up, to see what the Potions Master was doing.

Snape was about a yard away from Harry, right next to the bed. He was sitting on his knees with his hands, palms up, in his lap. Harry frowned at the sight and looked at the man's face. It seemed nervous and sad, a look he never would have thought Snape possible of having. The man, who used to constantly terrify him on purpose, looked like he couldn't hurt anything right there. How could just a voice and a sitting position change that?

"Harry? Are you calmed down?" He asked, his voice still gentle and quiet, as if he was talking to a scared animal. Harry had to admit, it was helping. He nodded slightly and uncurled his form a bit just enough that his muscles would stop cramping. Snape nodded but otherwise didn't move, for which Harry was grateful, his nerves were so tightly wound up…

"Harry...I know you're scared. Please believe me when I say, I DO understand." Harry frowned, looking at Snape in the eye as he spoke. The man...wasn't lying, he didn't think.

"You were…" Harry asked cautiously, and Snape nodded. Harry gasped slightly, thinking back on what he had seen in Snape's memories. "Oh god...oh god did-"

"James Potter was not the culprit." Snape said, as if he knew what Harry was thinking. "We do not need to discuss this further, Harry, I simply wished for you to know that, despite what you feel, you are not alone."

Harry bit back his relief at knowing his father was NOT a rapist. Still Harry felt a little better knowing that Snape had enough knowledge on the situation to be tactful. He still didn't like the guy, he doubted that he ever could, but he could at least understand a touch of it now.

The sound of Snape's voice pulled Harry out of his thoughts again, the voice stronger, but still gentle, still soft.

"Harry. I swear I will not hurt you." His eyes were locked on Harry, not the same cold stare he had been used to, but something much different. "I would never cause you pain. I am all too aware that I am an ass, but I have never physically harmed you, and I never would. Okay?"

Harry nodded and scooted forward a little bit more. Biting his lip nervously as he debated whether or not to ask the question he needed to, or if he should just accept the answer he already knew to be true…

"We don't really have a choice, do we?" he asked, voice barely a whisper in his own ears. "We're gonna have to get Married...then...S-Sleep t'gether…" Snape sighed heavily and looked away from Harry for a moment before nodding, his eyes slightly downcast.

"Once Albus Dumbledore has made up his mind, it is impossible to change it." He said softly. "I don't think he could force you, technically, but I can't disobey him. I swore him my servitude in exchange for my life, seventeen years ago."

Harry nodded and sighed heavily as well. Though he wasn't under any such vow as Snape was, he had never really been able to refuse a request from Dumbledore. He had far too much respect for him. He always trusted the Headmaster to know what he was doing, certainly a lot more than Harry did. So, Harry took a deep breath and stood up, walking over to Snape and standing closer to him. He was about arms length away as he looked at Snape, expecting the man to stand in return,...but he didn't. He remained there, on his knees, looking up at Harry through a curtain of black hair. Harry swallowed nervously, suddenly very aware that his most hated Professor, was KNEELING in front of him. It was bizarre. Harry shook the strange feeling out of his mind, _He must be worried of scaring me more, the guy's nicer than I thought…_

"Well, er….Professor….if we don't really got a choice then I guess we don't got a choice then…" He said, scratching the back of his head. "Just...er...please be gentle? Not that I think you would intentionally be rough! I Just, er…"

"Mr. Potter." Snape's voice seemed strained, as if he was biting back annoyance. He remained on his knees but one hand reached out and took ahold of his own. The long fingers were rough and calloused, but extremely gentle as they wrapped around the smaller, rounder fingers. Harry watched with shock as Snape brought that hand to his lips, gently pressing a soft kiss against the back of the knuckles as he spoke.

"Gentle or not, such a thing would be traumatic to you, given what you had just recently endured. So I must beg to differ, that it is I should ask for you to be gentle to me."

"Whoa, Snape, you don't mean-!" Harry said, taking a step back, though he did not pull his hand away.

"I most certainly do, Harry." Snape said, his voice firm once again, making it very clear what he was saying. "I will not put you through that trauma again. I refuse to do so. Thus speaking, there is only one way for us to bond."

"But what about-"

"I have healed." He stated, though something in his voice made Harry feel as if that was not fully true. " And I am capable of remaining calm, even if I do feel stressed. Which, frankly, will make it far less painful."

"I...don't understand." Harry stated, looking at the hand holding onto his own. "How can it be less? Doesn't it always hurt?"

Snape chuckled deeply, releasing Harry's finger and returning his own hand to his lap, palm up.

"Trust me, Harry, it does not always hurt. In fact, with the proper preparation and patience, It can even be quite pleasurable."

Potter gaped at the man, feeling his face go from what was once pale to a bright fiery red.

"H...how, what?" Harry stammered. Snape smiled and shook his head, the black locks falling into his face even more.

"That I feel is a discussion for another time." Snape said. "Now, can I stand up without you having a fit? My knees are hurting."

Harry's blustering turned into a bright red scowl. _I take it back, He's not nice at all._ He shrugged and folded his arms across his chest, not looking at the man anymore.

"You're the one who assumed that I would have a fit. Get up if it bothers you so much, it's not like I forced you to or anything."

Snape scoffed and got up off of the floor, brushing off his black robes and slacks as he looked at the clock on the wall. It was nearing eleven at this point. He looked back at Harry, who was still huffing angrily and sighed.

"We should inform Dumbledore that we are ready." He said, causing the boy ot look back at him. "Luckily for us he is ordained by the ministry, so we do not need to worry about finding someone. But time is of the essence, so to speak."

Harry sighed and nodded, looking down at himself. He had noticed the clothes, obviously, but the thought of getting **Married** in what was essentially some of Snape's non-work clothes was just a bit...surreal. Still, he doubted that he would have anything better among his own stuff. So he just shrugged and flung his fingers through his hair real quick before nodding again. Snape turned and opened the door, waiting for Harry to step through, into what felt like some form of prison.

The house was empty, save for Dumbledore, who was sitting in an armchair, reading something. As soon as the old man noticed the two of them coming down the stairs he gave them a warm smile and stood up, putting a rolled up magazine into his robes.

"Are you alright, Harry?" Dumbledore asked and Harry nodded, stopping at the foot of the stairs just as Snape stood beside him.

"As good as I can be…" He said quietly. Dumbledore's smile became rather sad and the old man sighed.

"I'm sorry Harry, Severus...but this really is the best way." Dumbledore said, already pulling out his wand. "Given what we are facing, we cannot risk losing either one of you. Every little bit of protection is needed."

"Let's just...get this over with…" Harry chanced a glance at Snape. The man was unreadable now, hands clasped in front of himself, face like stone. _I wonder what he's thinking about. Probably cursing Dumbledore's name, and mine._ Snape's eyes turned to Harry, clearly catching him staring. One black eyebrow raised in response, though he said nothing.

"Alright then, if you two would clasp hands?" Dumbledore asked, standing so that he was slightly beside and between them. "I understand your discomfort so I'll skip the ceremony."

Snape nodded and turned towards Harry, who mimicked the motion, not too sure what to do. When Snape held out his hand to Harry, he hesitated. Snape had made a point not to touch him earlier, save for that one, brief moment. But he had been on his knees then, not a threat. Standing up Snape was still a great deal taller than himself, and his black robes made him intimidating as all hell. Still, he could tell the two of them were waiting, so he reached his hand out to Snape, the both of them clasping onto each others wrists.

A simple flick of the wand and, starting from their hands hundreds of silver tendrils began to wrap around their hands and arms, slowly moving up to their chest. Harry was mesmerised by watching that light twist and turn around Snape, almost looking like the threads of memories used in a Pensive, or even a wisp of a Patronus. It was beautiful, and terrifying at the same time.

"Alright then." Dumbledore said, looking up at Snape and taking a deep breath. "Do you, Severus Tobias Snape, vow to keep Harry James Potter close to your heart, through good and ill, till the end of your days?"

"I do swear." Snapes reply was quick and strong, not a waver in his voice as his eyes remained locked with Harry's. Harry swallowed as Dumbledore turned to him, his hand in Snapes unable to stop shaking.

 _Oh Gods this is really happening…_

"Do you, Harry James Potter, vow to keep Severus Tobias Snape close to your heart, through good and ill, till the end of your days?"

Hesitation. The words were stuck in his throat. _Till the end of my days? Is there no wizarding divorce we can do after Voldemort is gone? Am I really going to be stuck with him till the day I die? What're Ron and Hermione going to think? And Sirius? He'll be furious! Oh god, oh god…_

A gentle squeeze from Snape's hand drew Harry out of his thoughts. Harry looked up at the dark eyes that had been so severely locked on him. Those eyes were not as cold as they had seemed a moment ago. They were warmer, much like they had been back in the room. Harry swallowed and clasped the hand a little bit tighter.

"I...I do swear." The words finally came out, though the stutter made it sound far less sure than Snapes did. Harry watched as Dumbledore flicked his wand again and the tendrils all started to fade, leaving no trace behind, save for the slightly shining silver rings on their clasped hands. The two of them unclasped their hands and looked at the rings, simple and smooth, but the meaning behind them was all too clear.

"I now pronounce you as married."


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note/Warning; Beware this chapter contains mature content not suitable for younger readers. Also it is quite the long chapter, not sure if I should appologise for that or not, so I will to be safe.**

 **Another big thank you to my editor CupcakeSev23 for editing this long chapter, you are truly a saint.**

 **I hope you all enjoy, I look forward to reading your lovely reviews and messages. :3**

 **Chapter 4; Wedding night.**

The room was quiet for a good several minutes before it all really began to sink in for Harry. He was married, to a man literally old enough to be his father, and who hated him. He trusted the man not to outright hurt him, but he couldn't help but feel the dread of being bound to such a man for a lifetime.

His distraught must have been visible on his face, as a gentle hand from Dumbledore caught his attention. He looked up at sparkling blue eyes and a gentle smile behind white hairs.

"Harry, I wish to speak with you for a moment, alone if I may." He said with a smile, looking over at Snape. The Potions Master raised an eyebrow at Dumbledore before turning towards the stairs and moving his eyes onto Harry.

"I'll be waiting for you upstairs then…" The words were flat and void of emotion as the older man started to make his way back up the stairs, his footsteps echoing in the nearly empty room.

 _Wait for me in your cupboard, Harry._ Uncle Vernon's words echoed in Harry's ears as he watched Professor Snape climb those stairs. Being reminded of the dread that came with those words, Harry suddenly felt like the rock in his stomach had doubled in size.

"Harry?" Dumbledore's voice seemed so distant, Harry almost didn't recognise it.

"Why did we have to do this, Sir?" Harry asked, watching as the black cloak disappeared through a door. "Was there really no other way?"

"The two of you could have said no."

Harry turned towards the older wizard, who seemed to have a strange glint in his eyes.

"What?"

"I said you could have said no." Dumbledore smiled. "I hardly have the power to force your hands, though Severus has never gone against my wishes…."

Harry gaped at him, dumbfounded that Dumbledore would say that NOW after everything that just took place. After it was too late to change it.

"What about him!?" Harry practically yelled, causing Dumbledore to jump, looking mildly shocked. "Do you have any idea what he did to calm me down just a bit ago, what he promised!? Both of us just did something neither of us wanted because we thought it was the only way to be safe!"

"Now Harry, the both of you could have thought it through on your own." Albus looked almost hurt. "I simply stated my suggestion-"

"You-" Harry bit back his words and looked away, his face burning. What was he supposed to do now? Snape will be furious when he finds out.

"Well, it is too late to turn back now." Albus shrugged it off, adjusting his purple robes. "Besides, I needed to speak with you about this. Severus won't have an issue, he is quite used to deceiving people, you however, have much to learn on the subject."

Harry frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Harry, that I mentioned before that we must act as if this was the plan all along? To prevent outrage from the wizarding world and certain Ministry departments? " Harry nodded, remembering what he had been told about the usual process for Bondings. "Well, also to prevent outrage from other members of the Order. Let's be realistic, once Sirius finds out, he will be livid. He and Severus have always been on opposite sides of things. Unless you are able to convince him that this was something you wanted, I fear our Potions Master will be in danger from more than just Voldemort and Death Eaters."

Harry scowled again, a bad habit he seemed to be picking up after only being in Snape's house a few hours.

"So what, I have to pretend to be in love with Snape?" Harry said, unable to stop his nose from wrinkling at the thought of it. Sure he didn't loathe the guy, not after what he's been willing to promise and go through for his safety, but he still couldn't say he was fond of the man.

"At least while in company other than myself and the Minister, yes." Dumbledore said with a smile. _The old man is enjoying this._ Harry couldn't help but think. "At least act very fond of each other. Also, I recommend talking with Severus before consummating the marriage, and I do recommend you consummate regularly."

"What?!" Harry squeaked. "I was told only once!"

"Well once is all that is required to make sure the Binding Magics work, however it has been proven that they stay stronger for longer the more frequently you cycle your magical energies together. Thus, Sex."

Harry bit down on his lip, his hands clutching so hard that he thought his nails would break skin. This was ridiculous! How did things go from one-hundred to a thousand so fast?

"Is there any other bad news or uncomfortable advice you need to share with me, Sir?" Harry asked, unable to keep the anger out of his voice. "Because, thanks to you, I have a husband waiting upstairs for me."

Dumbledore smiled again and nodded, turning and taking a pinch of green powder out of a jar on the fireplace.

"Very well Harry. I'll tell the others not to bother you until tomorrow." He turned and smiled at Harry one more time, that same glint still in his eyes. "Do go easy on Severus, he has been through a lot. Good night then."

Then with a toss of the powder and a word Dumbledore vanished into the green fire. Harry stared after him for a short while before running his hands through his hair.

"Damn it…" He hissed. A small screech and the sound of wings caught Harry's attention, drawing his eyes to the snowy Owl who had perched herself on the stair rail. Harry walked over and ran her fingers over the soft feathers, taking a moment to calm himself.

 _I better go upstairs..._ Harry thought as he looked up at the door Snape had went through. It was the same room he had originally put Harry in. For some reason, it looked a lot farther away than it had earlier.

Swallowing he moved his hand from Hedwig and onto the rail itself, putting his foot on the first step before stopping. He could feel his hands starting to shake again, causing him to freeze where he stood, just looking up at that door.

 _Get going Harry, it's getting late._ He thought to himself to try and urge his feet to move. _Snape's gonna get annoyed for waiting so long, he probably wants to get it over with and get to bed. You do too…_

Closing his eyes, Harry took a deep breath and forced himself to take another step, and another, and another. Slowly, but surely, he was making his way up the stairs. After a few steps Harry was able to force his eyes open, if nothing else to stop from tripping on the last step. It took forever, but he did eventually come to the top landing, were he turned and looked out into the main room.

This house was massive, it could easily fit All the Seventh Year Gryffindors, and the entire teaching staff. Harry had to wonder just how important Snape's family had been, once upon a time. The rooms were dark, as the lights had dimmed as Harry made his way up, the lights around him now bright enough for him to see comfortably. He couldn't help but feel like this place was similar to Hogwarts, in some way. He couldn't quite pinpoint it, but the similarity was there…

But he was stalling, and Harry knew it. He turned to look at the door, he could see light shining through the bottom of it, and at the crystal door handle seemed almost dangerous in the dim light. He couldn't hear any movement within, but he had seen Snape go in, so he couldn't fool himself into hoping, or thinking, that it would be empty. So, he took another breath to calm his nerves, reached out, and turned the handle.

The door was silent as it opened, the light inside the room flooding out into the hallway. For the first time since arriving, Harry took a moment to take in his surroundings.

The room was large, about the same size as his Uncle's sitting room, and it could practically be a small studio flat on it's own. There was a Queen sized bed against one wall, with simple gray-blue covers. The walls were simple gray stone and the floors a dark wood, only a red rug at the foot of the bed to give color. The fireplace opposite to the bed was crackling softly, mixing in with the sound of rain. Had it been under any other situation, Harry probably would have found the room to be rather calming. The desk and wardrobe were a matching cedar wood, with small intricate designs carved into them, too small for Harry to be able to see from this distance.

And across the room from Harry, standing at an open window, was Snape. He had taken off the long, billowing black cloak and was simply in his fitted black overcoat, His arms were crossed on the windowsill, as rain poured in, getting his jet-black hair wet. Despite the wind and rain, the room remained warm, and Harry took in a breath, smelling the damp, electricity that filled air. He let the door close silently behind him and took another step forward, wondering if Snape had even noticed him arriving.

"Um...Professor?" Harry said, his voice much weaker than he had hoped it to be. Snape turned his head towards Harry slightly, just enough to peek out from under his hair to see him.

"As strange as it may be, you should probably call me Severus now." He said, voice solid, but quiet. Harry nodded and took another step forward.

"Okay, er...Severus." He tried out the name. It sounded too strange, didn't feel right coming out of his mouth. "Er...aren't you cold?"

"Not really." Sna- **Severus** , replied turning around to fully face Harry, leaning back on the sill. "Has Albus finally left?"

Harry nodded and took a few more steps towards the man, standing at the foot of the bed now.

"Yeah...and he, er….said we should probably talk before…"

Severus nodded and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Very well. What is it he said we should talk about?" He asked before raising an eyebrow. "Or...are you still afraid I'll-"

"No, no I trust you." Harry said, those particular words coming out a bit easier than he has expected. "I...it's just...he said this won't be the only time we…"

"Ah…" Severus seemed to catch on instantly. "I see. I suspect he explained the cycling of Magical energy?"

"Not in detail, but I think I get the basics of it." Harry said, also crossing his arms. "I don't really want to know the details, in all honesty, I just…." He sighed. "How often will we…?"

"Whatever is comfortable for you, Harry." Snape said. "I am more than prepared to follow your lead in this situation. The last thing I want is for you to be traumatised any more than you already have been."

Harry bit his lip, his hands clenching again. That was a lot of responsibility to put on him, even if the intention was, supposedly, right.

"What about you though?" Harry asked, not looking at the man anymore. "I don't want to put you out or make you uncomfortable...so…"

"Harry, it is rather impossible not to do either one of those things at this point in time." Snape said with a sigh. "As of this point, we are legally Married, I am still your teacher, and neither one of us is all to fond of the other. I recommend, at this point, to just make it as painless as possible."

Harry sighed again and shook his head, dropping his hands to his side and looking down. Well, so much for that. _Guess I had better get on with it then._

"Well….what now?" Harry asked, trying to put on a strong face in front of this intimidating man. He looked back up and started to walk forward, until he was right in front of him, looking up at black eyes.

"That is entirely up to you, Harry." Snape said, unfolding his arms and resting his hands on the window cill. "Like I said, I will follow your lead."

Harry bit his lip and looked around the room for a moment, not sure how to proceed. He had seen plenty of movies with romance scenes in them, but in those the characters already had strong emotional attachments, and it was romantic and spontaneous...Nothing like this. Still...it was all he had to go off of.

"Um...i...is it okay if I touch you?" He asked, not able to meet those dark eyes anymore. Severus nodded and waited. Harry took a deep breath and put both of his hands on Snape's chest, gliding his hands up and down over the soft material of his overcoat.

Harry had fought a Basilisk, stared down a werewolf, fought a dragon, and yet he could only think of one situation where he had been more afraid than he was right now. He knew it would be strange to even touch this man, let alone be intimate with him, but how incredibly unnatural this felt was beyond uncomfortable.

He tried to think back on those movies, or to things that he would think would be nice, and he let one hand slide up and brush through Severus' hair. He had a hard time hiding his surprise, it wasn't greasy at all. In fact, it was really soft. In a way it was even softer than Ginny's hair had been, that one time he had kissed her. He swallowed nervously and took a chance look at Snape's face. As usual, he was hard to read, especially with his dark eyes closed. Knowing that his husband was not watching him, he took the opportunity to look over his posture. It wasn't hard to see that he was stiff, all of his muscles were locked in place, long, pale fingers grasping onto the edge of the window, not even flinching as rain pelted down on him.

He really was just going to let Harry do what he wants. Harry suspected, in that moment, that if he said he just wanted to get it done with, to hell with hurting him, Snape would oblige. Harry hated the thought of hurting someone the way his uncle had hurt him, but knowing he was in complete control was...comforting.

The hand that had been running through the onyx hair placed itself on the side of Severus' face, pulling him down ever so slightly. He moved as the hand bid him. Harry wasn't sure why, but he found himself reaching up and, very gently, pressing his lips against Severus'. Snape's eyes blinked open, clearly surprised by the contact, but he didn't protest or pull away. Harry swallowed again before kissing him again, the hand that had been stroking Snape's chest slid down to his waist and pulled him forward, like he had seen those people in movies do.

Harry continued to kiss Severus for a short while, only vaguely aware that the man had followed his lead and was kissing him back. The wind from the open window was cold, but Severus was blocking most of it from hitting Harry, and the rest of the room was quite warm, causing a rather strange mix of feelings to dance over bits of Harry's skin.

When Harry pulled away again, both of their faces were slightly flushed, Severus having to take a small gasp of breath in. Harry looked and brushed damp hair away from his face and looked down at his chest. As flattering as the all black attire was on Severus, those buttons seemed rather daunting, and Harry didn't know if he would be able to brings himself to undo them all. So he brought his hands down again, gently holding onto Severus' sleeve.

"Could, um...you take this off?" He asked, feeling his face burn at the request. He didn't see Severus' expression only two hands reach up underneath his chin, and begin to deftly unto each button one at a time. Harry sat back and watched those hands slowly move down the thin frame, each time a button unclasped, it revealed the white shirt beneath.

Eventually the man was pulling the coat off of his shoulders and folding it over one arm before draping it over the desk chair. He looked back at Harry, as if asking him if there was more, Harry swallowed and looked at the new image in front of him. Snape in white was...interesting to say the least. He certainly looked less sickly without the stark black against his white skin, but it just didn't seem like Snape. Though he was still, quite clearly, very thin. Harry nodded and looked behind him at the bed. He sighed and grabbed Severus' hand and pulled him forward, receiving no resistance, until they were both standing near the bed. Standing behind Snape, Harry wrapped his arms around that thin waist, one hand going up to unclasp the high collar of the white shirt, and the other reaching down, between his legs.

The small gasp that escaped Severus' lips as Harry touched him was so quiet, Harry wasn't sure he had heard it. But as he continued to touch him, the taller man's shaking became more and more apparent, until eventually he had to brace himself against the footboard of the bed. His other hand came down and met Harry's grasping it to make it stop moving.

"Y..You don't have...to do that." Severus was breathing hard as he spoke, his voice cracking ever so slightly. The sound was surprising, and Harry simply nuzzled into the back of Severus' neck, taking in a deep breath.

"If your doing this for me, I might as well try to make you feel at least a little good." Harry said as he brushed some of the onyx hair away from the pale, slender neck, and started to plant kisses along that pale skin. Another gasp, followed by a moan encouraged Harry to continue.

Finally the hand that had been undoing the white shirt made it to the last button and Harry brought both hands up to Severus' shoulders and started to pull the cloth down, watching as it slowly revealed the pale skin of his back. Severus had to quickly unclasp the cuffs before Harry could pull the shirt off completely and drop it to the floor at their feet. Harry's hands ran from Snape's neck, down over his shoulder blades and to his waist, emerald eyes following them as he looked over the skin.

Skin that was covered in dozens, if not hundreds of scars. Some were extremely old, several years, others were still pink and healing. Harry traced a finger over one, very long, continuous scar that ran from just under his right arm, all the way to his right hip.

"How did you get these?" Harry asked softly. He heard the sigh and saw the slim shoulders rise and fall, dark eyes peeking around to him.

"I guess you could say they come with the job."

Harry frowned and pressed his hands firmly against either side of that slender waist, rubbing up and down slowly. _Why would he have so many scars on his back from Potions? Unless...Oh…_

"Voldemort?" Harry asked, Severus flinching slightly at the name before nodding. "Why?"

"When the Dark Lord is angry, not even those he trusts as his followers are safe." He explained, turning his gaze away before bracing both hands against the bedpost again. Harry nodded, realizing this was a horribly uncomfortable conversation. So he went back to placing kisses along the back of his neck and shoulders, sliding his hands around again to rub his front.

Harry took a breath before pressing flush up against Severus, rocking against him as he kissed and sucked on small areas of exposed skin.

Severus was allot more attractive than Harry had ever thought before, there was no doubt about that, but the situation was becoming more and more straining for Harry as he realised he wasn't getting aroused at all by the foreplay. It wasn't...unpleasant by any means, but it certainly was not something he had ever had any desire to do until now.

After a little bit more petting and kissing, Harry sighed frustrated and pressed his forehead against Severus' back, letting his hands fall to his side.

"Pro-Severus…." He grunted. "You...might have to do this…"

"What do you mean?" Severus turned around to face the rather upset looking young man, raising an eyebrow as he saw his rather embarrassed expression.

"Well..I just... I can't…" Harry gave a vague gesture and both of Severus' eyebrows went up and he gave a slow nod.

"Ah...I see...well.."He ran his fingers through his hair and closed his eyes with a sigh. "I suppose that is rather...detrimental to this…"

"Yeah, that's why I think it might be better if you-"

"Don't say that, Harry." Severus cut him off abruptly. "I already swore I wouldn't do that, and I keep my promises."

"But then how-?"

"Is there a young woman you like?" Severus asked, folding his arms and leaning on the side of the bed.

"Er...what?"

"Is there a woman you like? Ms. Granger?"

"No! Oh god no! She's like a sister to me!" Harry said, clearly appalled by the thought of it. The amused smirk on Snape's face made him feel even worse about it.

"Ms. Ginny Weasley then?" That Harry had to bite his lip and think on for a moment.

"Well..yeah…" He admitted. "I was sort of gonna ask her to be my girlfriend, but this kinda screwed that up...what does she have to do with this?"

"Sit on the bed." Severus said. Harry raised an eyebrow but did as he was told. He only had to think on what Snape was playing at for a moment before Severus turned towards Harry and slid onto his knees.

"Er what are you…"

"Is it okay if I touch you?" Severus asked. Harry swallowed and nodded, but as he saw those hands reach up towards his legs, and the band of his sweatpants, his hands flew up to grasp his wrists. Severus looked up at Harry and frowned slightly.

"Er...sorry...I don't…" Harry stammered, letting go of Severus's hands.

"It's fine, that's why I asked." Severus placed his hands on the bed, on each side of Harry's legs. "If you prefer I'll let you remove them yourself."

"W...what are you gonna do?" Harry asked, once again struck by how weird it was to see this man, shirtless, now on his knees, in front of him.

"I am going to try and get you aroused." Severus said, his voice as dry as ever, as if he was explaining a potion component in class.

"Er...how?"

Harry could have sworn the man actually cringed at the question.

"I know you are young, Potter, but surely you are not that naive."

Harry frowned and thought for a moment, looking at how Severus was sitting in front of him, and…

"Oh…" It hit him like a bludger.

"Merlin's beard, I think he got it." Severus replied dryly, with a sigh.

"I...er...sorry." Harry bit his lip and stood up slightly to start pulling his sweat pants down. As soon as he was exposed Harry knew his face on was fire. He sat back down and looked away from Severus, not wanting to meet whatever masculine judgement he would meet there.

"Harry, go ahead and close your eyes, I promise I won't surprise you."

Harry nodded and closed his eyes.

"Try to think of Ms. Weasley, if that will make it easier on you. I'm going to touch you now…"

Harry nodded and waited, trying to get an image of Ginny into his mind. The feeling of warm fingers grasping him, followed quickly by something hot and wet, made him gasp for breath slightly, grasping the bed cover tightly. The firm, hot pressure against his member felt really good, and it made it hard to think of Ginny during this moment.

Unable to suppress a loud moan as the wet heat completely encompassed his member, Harry had to open his eyes to see if this was really happening. The sight of a man he had always hated so much, someone he had feared, on his knees, eyes half closed, gently bobbing his head as he took Harry into his mouth was bizarre and...beautiful Slightly damp hair brushed against his thighs and hips, making him shiver slightly, as he moaned along with each movement.

Harry found his hand rising up to brush some of that hair, but he stopped himself just short of making contact. Severus' eyes went from the hand and up to Harry's face as he pulled away for a moment to speak.

"You can use your hands. Harry. It's okay." His voice was quiet and gentle, so much so that Harry simply nodded and brushed a few strands of hair away from his face. Severus nodded before leaning forward and taking the now erect member into his mouth again. Harry moaned and simply held on, his fingers twisting gently into that hair.

He did notice, rather quickly, that Severus was making a point not to use his hands. Those long, deft fingers were currently placed on the side of the mattress, simply supporting his body weight in the weird angle it was in.

Harry gasped and moaned deely, his hand getting a firmer grasp into Severus' hair as he found himself controlling the pace more and more. It was hard not to rock into his mouth, it felt so good, but Harry didn't want to choke the poor man. Still, his hand must have been moving on it's own accord, as Severus slowly but surely started to move faster, taking him in deeper into his throat. In one moment, Harry was unable to control any part of his body, and he rocked up sharply, hitting the back of Severus' throat. The movement clearly caught Severus by surprise, and he choked slightly and, upon Harry releasing his hair, started coughing violently.

"Shit! I'm sorry!" Harry gasped. "Shit, I'm so sorry…"

"It's *Cough* fine…" Severus said once it had calmed down slightly. "It's fine…"

"You okay?" Harry asked, getting ready to stand up. "I can go get you some water…"

"I'm fine, really." Severus cleared his throat. "If your going to get anything, get the lotion out of the loo.."

Harry stopped and looked down, confused.

"Lotion?" Harry asked and Severus looked back, his own confusion turning to a look of...pity?

"Well...I...don't have any actual lubricant, so ...lotion is the best we got to make this...um...non-painful.."

Harry gaped at this and bit his lip, folding his hands in his lap as he thought about it.

"Er...how can it be...non-painful? I mean…" He stuttered, looking down. "I guess I can see how lotion could make it easier, but non-painful…"

"There are ways, Harry…" Severus said, standing up and brushing off his pants. "But it takes patience...if you are willing to go through the process...though I would understand if you simply wanted to get this over with…"

"No." Harry stood up as well, his voice firm for the first time since **This** started. "I...if it doesn't have to hurt...then I'll do what I have to…"

Severus nodded and took a step back from Harry, giving him some space.

"Go get the lotion then…"

Harry nodded, pulled his sweat pants back up and made his way to the bathroom next door.

The room was very clean and tidy, with simple white towels hanging on the rack, and everything very organised. It wasn't hard to find the bottle of unscented lotion, sitting right on the edge of the sink, closest to the nice, large bathtub and shower.

Harry took only a moment to look around the room before heading back to the bedroom, the current situation below his belt making it very uncomfortable to walk. Upon arriving back in the bedroom, he found Severus now sitting on the bed, facing the door, and looking at Harry as he came back in.

Once again, green eyes scanned over the body in front of him. Despite having always thought Snape to look rather sickly, the man was actually nicely toned. By no means an athlete's body, but it was still much healthier than he had ever imagined. He was depressed to see that the scars that had been on his back continued on his chest and arms. Harry couldn't stop his eyes from locking on to the Dark Mark on Severus' left arm, looking grey and flat in that moment, like an old tattoo.

Harry swallowed and went over to Severus, setting the lotion on the bedside table and leaning down to kiss the man. Severus did not object to the kiss, nor to Harry gently pushing on his shoulders to make him lie down. Harry followed Severus down, keeping his lips locked even as his head hit the pillow and long legs swung up onto the mattress. Harry crawled on top and pulled away to look at him.

His hair was now sprawled over the white pillow, making it look even darker than it was. Both of Severus' hands were also on the pillow, palms up and unresisting. Harry had to admit, he was glad Severus had been refraining from actively touching him, the one exception having been the blowjob moments ago, and even then, Harry had been able to control it.

Licking his lips Harry sat back and started undoing Severus' trousers. As he pulled them down, grasping onto the black boxers underneath as well, he couldn't help but think of what he had seen in that Pensive...his dad…

As he pulled the cloth off of his legs, stopping only to take off the black shoes and socks that were blocking his path, he looked up at Severus' face. His eyes were closed and he looked uncomfortable, taking slow, deep breaths. His hands and body, however, were shockingly relaxed. Harry took comfort in this and pulled off his sweatpants, and shirt, tossing them into the pile of clothes that was now beside the bed. He crawled up so that he was above Severus again, and took the lotion off of the stand.

"Okay...so...how?" Harry asked, feeling his hands shaking slightly. Despite everything, there was a part of him that still couldn't believe this was happening. Snape opened his eyes and looked up at the young man, sighing slightly.

"Nervous?" He asked. Harry nodded. Severus sat up on his elbows slightly and held his hand out. "I'll do this part then...you don't need to-"

"No." Harry said sternly, causing Severus to start slightly. Harry bit his lip. "I..want to know how...for...future use and what not so…"

Severus sighed again and rested his elbows back on the bed and nodded, shifting slightly so that Harry was between his legs, rather than on top of them. He took a breath before starting to explain.

"You'll need a good amount of lotion on your fingers." He said, and Harry started to follow instructions, popping open the cap of the bottle and pouring some onto his fingers. "A little more, that's it. Now…"

Harry looked up and saw the pink in Severus' face. _Yeah, I can imagine this being a bit...awkward to try and explain…_ He thought. Considering on how they were going to do this, Harry guessed the next step and slipped his hand between Severus' legs and applied the lotion to Severus' entrance. He felt the man tense at the contact before relaxing again as Harry worked to apply as much as he could.

"Okay...okay, now...one finger, and only one. Slowly…" Severus said and Harry felt his own face heat up as he slipped the very tip of one finger inside. He struggled to keep an eye on what his hand was doing as he also tried to gauge Severus' face, which grimace uncomfortably as Harry slowly slid inside more and more. Once Harry was in as deep as he could go he stopped and just watched for a moment, trying not to think of just how tight it was around his finger. Severus took a breath and leaned back into the pillow again, his hands returning to their previous position. His face slowly relaxing.

"Okay...you can start moving….I'll let you know when you can add another finger…"

Harry nodded again then began to rock his hand back and forth. The feeling was as foreign to him as the image of Severus' reactions. It was hot, and tight, so tight Harry wasn't sure how he could possibly fit his…in there. But he was far more interested, oddly enough, in Severus' face. The normally so pale and gaunt visage was tinged in red, his lips slightly parted as he breathed along with Harry's movements, eyes closed. Harry could tell he was trying to relax, knowing from experience that it wasn't an easy thing to do, but it didn't look like he was in pain.

Leaning down, Harry placed kisses along Severus' neck again, letting his tongue trail down to his collarbone. His free hand started to rub up and down his chest, trying to rub away some of the tension. A low moan from Severus' pale throat brought a small smile to Harry's face, at least he wasn't hurting…

"Okay...I think you can add the second finger now…" His voice was shaky and soft but Harry heard him. He took a deep breath and pulled up again so that he could see what he was doing, before slowly, and very carefully, slipping in his middle finger alongside his index.

Severus grimmaged again, much more than before, and Harry stopped, placing his free hand on the center of Severus' chest.

"You okay?" He asked. It was a moment before Severus took in one long deep breath of air and let it out slowly, nodding and shifting his back slightly.

"I'm fine...please continue…"

Harry nodded and started moving the two fingers together, instantly seeing Severus tense up again.

"If it hurts, tell me, and I'll stop." He said and Severus opened his eyes, his hands having twisted to grab onto the pillow.

"It doesn't hurt...per-se. It's...just uncomfortable is all." He explained. Harry nodded and rocked his fingers back and forth, letting them bend slightly to massage the inner walls. At one moment, when he let one finger bend slightly more, Severus' back arched up slightly and a deep, slow moan came out. Harry looked up, surprised as he watched him settle back down. Biting his lip in concentration, Harry repeated the motion, and again a deep moan.

Harry smiled and leaned forward, giving Severus a small peck on the lips.

"Did...that feel good?" He asked. The look on Severus' face could have scared Voldemort himself away. Harry grinned and continued to rub that spot, causing the glare to drop and more moans to fall out of his mouth. He didn't know what that spot was, but whatever it was, it felt good to Severus. And considering Severus was putting up with this for his sake, any bit of pleasure he could provide he would.

"Harry…" Severus seemed barely able to speak. Harry looked down at the flushed face, beeded with sweat. "Harry...you can….now…"

"You sure?" Harry asked, shocked to hear his own voice sounding oddly strained. Why was his throat so dry?"

Severus nodded and Harry pulled his fingers out. Harry pushed Severus' long legs up, hooking them up over his own shoulders as he poured some more lotion onto his hand to stroked himself a few times. As soon as he was slick, he leaned over Severus again and pressed against his entrance, firmly. It was so tight it was almost painful to Harry, slipping in and feeling Severus' body tense at the intrusion. A strangled noise escaped Severus' throat, as his hands clenched in the pillows and he forced himself to breathe.

At about the halfway mark, Harry laid over Severus, bringing his hand up to pet his hair, while the other stroked up and down his right arm, pushing slowly and carefully. Severus was taking long deep breaths, his legs shaking slightly as Harry finally stopped, as deep as he could be inside him. Harry forced himself to hold still, the tightness being too much to really move in that moment anyway. The two of them simply lay there together for a few minutes, Harry still petting Severus' hair, Severus still clutching on to the pillow. Slowly, though, those fingers relaxed, and Harry could feel the tightness loosen slightly. Harry sat up and kissed Severus' neck a few times, his breathing already stagled.

"I'm gonna move…"

Severus nodded and Harry pulled out slightly before rocking back in, starting slow and steady, letting out a small moan each time Severus tensed in response. Severus continued to breathe, his hands finally releasing the pillow from his death grip and his legs relaxing into the motions.

 _This...feels really good..._ Harry couldn't help but think as his hands went from the mattress to Severus' hips, rocking slightly faster as they both relaxed into the motions. If someone had told him that he would be having sex with Snape, and enjoying it, he would have called them nutters and probably gave them a good old bat-bogey hex. But now...everything had changed.

He didn't think he would be as happy if Severus had been the one touching him all this time, just the idea of the man holding his hand was enough to almost send him into a panic, but Severus hadn't done any of that. Even now, with Harry rocking into his core, Severus' hands remained out in the open, easy for him to see, unclenched. He had never noticed how aware the man always was. He felt confident, hearing Severus grunt and groan with his thrusts, small gasps of air coming from slightly parted lips. He was making him feel good, something had never thought he would be able to do for anyone. And considering the situation, were neither one of them really wanted this, at least this first step was turning out better than he could have ever imagined.

And Harry was in complete control. Something he had never had in his life. Everything that he had, that he went through, was because of something else. His parents deaths, living with his Aunt and Uncle, even coming to Hogwarts, as amazing and wonderful as it had been, had been something he got from blood, not from any hard work. But right then, right now, Harry could choose what happened next. And he did.

His confidence growing with each sound that escaped from his new husband, Harry took a firm hold onto Severus' thighs and thrust in sharp and deep. Watching those dark eye fly open and a small cry of surprise come from Severus as beautiful to behold. Harry repeated the motion, again, and again, and again, each time getting slightly faster. Severus continued to call out until one of his hands covered his mouth, the other covering his eyes, as if embarrassed.

 _No...I want to see you. I want to hear you._ Harry thought, unsure why, but he would have it. He stopped moving long enough to grasp Severus' wrists and pin them both above his head, his hand just missing the dark mark on Severus' forearm. Harry bent over and started thrusting again, no longer holding back. He kissed and sucked on Severus' neck, both of them panting from the excursion now.

"Harry...what's gotten..into you…"Severus managed to gasp out between breaths and moans. Harry nuzzled into his neck, gently biting on the sensitive skin,

"Dunno." He replied as Severus moaned, those arms straining ever so slightly against Harry's grasp. "Jus...really like it…"

Harry wasn't sure if Severus replied with a moan or a whimper, but he was past the point of caring. He was close, so close. Harry moved to grasp both of Severus' wrists with one hand before moving the other to his hip, holding him in place as he pressed down and grinded into him, hitting as deep as he could possibly go.

No longer able to cover his mouth, Severus was letting out sounds that were starting to drive Harry to the brink of madness. It almost didn't even sound like Severus' voice any more, but it encouraged Harry to keep going nonetheless, the sound of the rain and thunder drowning out the sound of their bodies hitting each other.

The release came like an explosion. Harry had felt it building up for a while, so when it finally hit him it rendered him almost motionless. One last, hard thrust and he spilled everything into his new partner, biting down onto Severus' shoulder to keep from making some pathetic, whimpering sound of pleasure. He was completely unaware for a few moments, the room being silent save for the storm and their breathing. Even the fireplace had burnt to cinders and was merely a dull glow in one corner of the room.

Harry let his weight set on Severus, the hand clutching the wrists loosening as they both breathed. Harry could feel Severus' pulse, pounding hard and fast, matching the hum he could hear in his ears. He let his eyes wander to the man's face, flushed, tired, and covered in sweat. They were both on the verge of passing out, and Harry knew it. So, he pulled out of Severus and slumped onto the bed at his side, laying on his back in an attempt to catch his breath, unaware as darkness slowly took him to a dreamless sleep.


End file.
